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[pwyll_twiceborn]

He's been sleeping badly since Kevin died.

Badly, or not at all; and what Loren has told them of Metran and Denbarra, of the energy stolen from reanimated svart alfar to feed the cauldron - and the winter - has not helped him find rest.

He's volunteered to take one of the early watches for that reason. It is a private time - almost peaceful, although the peace is a painful one, still. As peaceful as anything can be in these times.

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[most-generous.livejournal.com]

The Prydwen is not Arthur's own ship, of course, but it is like enough to that other Pridwen. To walk on the deck in the pre-dawn shadow, with his grey dog Cavall beside him again, after all the years of separation, eases his soul.

"Good morning to you," Arthur says to the watchman on the prow. Cavall runs to Paul, barking loudly and wagging his tail. Arthur laughs. "I forgot you were such friends."

[pwyll_twiceborn]

Cavall's presence brings a rare smile to Paul's face, and he lowers his hand to rest his hand on the dog's head, between the ears.

"You've risen early, my lord."

[most-generous.livejournal.com]

"I rest long enough when I have not been called to battle. There's hardly a need to rest now." Arthur smiles, with a quick flash of teeth. "Besides, I like early mornings."

[pwyll_twiceborn]

"I would say it's important for us all to get what rest we can," Paul says, a little wryly, "if it wouldn't make me so very clearly the hypocrite.

"I'm not used to this hour - but I like it too, actually."

[most-generous.livejournal.com]

"Someone needs to keep the watch, in any case." Arthur looks down at his dog, now sitting happily under Paul's hand. "I'm sure Cavall would volunteer, and do quite well at it."

[pwyll_twiceborn]

"I have every faith in Cavall's watch," Paul says; it's not a joke. "It saved my life once, in fact."

He looks down at the dog. "But he needs sleep no less than any of us, too."

[most-generous.livejournal.com]

"I believe it. My good dog," Arthur says fondly, and then laughs. "We'll give him the evening watch, while Prince Diarmuid is convincing the rest of the ship to empty Prydwen's wineskins. Meanwhile, is all well at the watch?"

[pwyll_twiceborn]

"It's a quiet night."

Paul looks out over the railing at the waves, gently undulating in the wind. It won't be quiet long; he knows it as surely as he knows that Liranan is watching their progress from below.

"I don't know much of the sea. I should be grateful I'm not seasick, I suppose."

[most-generous.livejournal.com]

Arthur has been a sailor for many centuries in many worlds, but he knows Tethys rather than Liranan. "She's wise and kind and cruel all at once. A good lady to know."

[pwyll_twiceborn]

"As it's good to know anyone who has your life in their hands."

Paul glances at Arthur.

[most-generous.livejournal.com]

"Indeed." Arthur turns from the rail to meet Paul's gaze. "That is the first, and the last, lesson a sailor must learn: however skilled you are in steering the ship, you remain at the sea's mercy, and to travel anywhere you must surrender to her."

[pwyll_twiceborn]

Paul's face is calm, and composed.

It is not the face of a man who is used to surrendering; nor the face of a man who plans to.

"I've always preferred games of skill to games of chance," he remarks.

[most-generous.livejournal.com]

"Usually, so do I." Arthur reaches over to pet Cavall. "But it is foolish to forget Fortune, as it is foolish to ignore the sea. When she is ready she will turn the wheel, and neither you nor I can stop her."

[pwyll_twiceborn]

"Stop her, no - not that."

Paul shrugs. "I know little of sailing, but I understand that though the wind cannot be controlled, an experienced sailor can arrange his sails to take advantage of whatever wind may occur."

[most-generous.livejournal.com]

"Yes," agrees Arthur, "when the wind blows. We learn to judge the wind, and take the best of what it offers. We do not, however, try to change it."

[pwyll_twiceborn]

"But neither do we allow ourselves to be blown wherever it would take us."

[most-generous.livejournal.com]

"No. I never said we should," Arthur says, leaning back against the ship's railing. "Loren Silvercloak told me a story you might know, about a certain man who volunteered to break a drought. To do so, he had to hang from a tree for three days. He had a goal in mind, and he succeeded in it; but can you tell me the man would have brought the rain if he had not absolutely surrendered himself to the tree?"

[pwyll_twiceborn]

Paul is silent for a long moment, looking out over the sea.

He is trying to decide whether he may be offended. He is, somewhat; the story of the tree is his own, and private, as are the lessons he learned upon it.

"There was a surrender on the tree, yes," he says, finally, inflectionless.

"And yet it was a choice, Warrior; the man in the tale you heard sought his own death, and for his own reasons. Not Mornir's, or Fionavar's. I doubt that is part of the tale that Loren Silvercloak told you."

[most-generous.livejournal.com]

Cavall presses his warm body against Paul's side.

Arthur considers the dog and the man. "No, Loren did not say that. It makes a great deal of sense, and yet... forgive me for asking, but do you think death was really all the man was looking for? There are quicker, easier places to find it than Mörnir’s tree."

[pwyll_twiceborn]

An quick, easy death is not what Paul had been looking for.

But those who know him well enough to judge that part of the tale are far away. Or dead.

"It needed to be done, and great good came of it. I will not argue that," he says instead.

"And the Weaver's hand may be seen, that a man with a need to die and a land with a need to claim a life came together at such a time. But there is nonetheless a choice. There is a random thread in the Tapestry, Warrior, and it grants us all free will."

[most-generous.livejournal.com]

"Yes, we have free will," Arthur answers quietly. "But when we act freely, we cannot escape the consequences of our actions. You know my story. I chose to kill the children, Paul, and I am still cursed."

[pwyll_twiceborn]

"I know the story," Paul says, slowly.

"And yet it is not always the same. There are elements in this tapestry that are not part of your curse; you have shaped your own choices here, and so has Jennifer.

"And Lancelot is not here."

And Darien is.

[most-generous.livejournal.com]

Darien who?

"No," Arthur agrees, looking back out to sea. There is no third, Guinevere said. But Lancelot is bound up in their doom, and Arthur knows very well he must come eventually. "And there are even more threads in the weaving than you know, Paul, unless Loren, Kim or my lady spoke to you about them."

[pwyll_twiceborn]

"I can guess some of the ones you speak of," Paul says, his own gaze sharpening.

"I've met Bran Davies at Milliways as well."

[most-generous.livejournal.com]

Arthur nods shortly. "Bran is my son. But it is even more complicated than that. There are many worlds, and they do not all revolve around the place you call Cader Sedat. In those worlds, there are many kings and war leaders named Arthur. Kim Ford meant to call Arthur from her own world, the one who killed the children, and she did. I am he. Because Kim came to Milliways, and met Bran there, she also called another Arthur, who never killed the children and who was never cursed. I am also he."